The Fruitguys News: All the Fruit That's Fit to Print

All the Fruit That's Fit to Print

Posted on January 19, 2009

To introduce highlights of your regional mixes this week, I'm making up news headlines in the universe where all fruits are anthropomorphized and some have super powers and can fly.

Western News: "SuperBlue Halts Oxidation Plot at Apple Gala"
This week's heroic Organic Blueberry hails from Forbidden Fruit Orchards in Lompoc, CA. Our friend Sandy confirmed that they pack a real punch of Vitamin C, fiber, folic acid, and super-powered antioxidant and flavanoid anthocyanins. Just half a cup of these berries offers as much antioxidant value as five servings of broccoli! Look for the cape in your conventional Harvest Flyers. And in all West Coast crates, crisp Organic Cripps Pink Apples from Columbia Gorge, WA. Admission to the Apple Gala is FREE for all FruitGuys customers; security will be provided by the Pun Police.

East Coast Gazette: "KUMQUAT Back on Tour - One Week Only!"
The diminutive Kumquat is the star of the East Coast show this week. A miniature citrus the size of a grape, Kumquats should be eaten whole. The interior flesh is sour tasting, but the essential oils in the skin are very sweet. Roll the Kumquat gently between your thumb and forefinger to get the flavors blending, then pop in your mouth for a wonderful taste bud-tingling combination. These tiny talents are a Prince-ly treat, minus the platform shoes. Thanks to Band Manager Benn for coaxing them into this special performance.

Midwest Weekly: "Minneloa Fashionistas: 'Winter Top Hats are Back'"
Our style consultant Erin M. pointed out my faux pas last week when I compared the shape and nub on top of a Minneola to a grenade. "I've always preferred to think of them as Top Hats," she says. "And no formally-dressed gentleman would be caught wearing his hat indoors. So when you're ready to eat, just politely remove their hats." Smart and stylish.

The FruitGuys

All the Fruit That's Fit to Print