It was 2 pm when Jane called and asked for my assistance. “The IT department did it again,” she sighed.
“Where is he?” I asked.
“In the server room.”
I walked past the IT team and heard the high fives. I could hear The Kid muttering in the server closet. His shirt collar was open, and his tie was twisted and crumpled and strung hastily through his pant belt loops.
“Kid?” I said. He looked at me and didn’t blink.
“I just had my first cup of coffee!” he yelled.
I pushed my hat back on my head. “Okay,” I said. “And?”
“And I’ve never had coffee before!!!”
He was sweating, and his eyes darted back and forth.
“Let’s come on out of the server closet,” I said slowly.
“I can’t,” he said. “Joe said I have to make sure the fans don’t shut down.”
“Sure he did,” I cooed. I tried to take his mind off Joe’s welcome task. I looked at the kid’s pants – he had tied a double Windsor knot to keep his drawers from falling down. At least he had some sense of style.
“Did they tell you they needed your belt to tie the new CAT5 cable going to Finance because they ran out of zip ties?”
“How did you know?” he said.
“Just a guess,” I told him, thinking of the collection of first day belts that Joe had amassed which now hung like hunting trophies along the inside of cube 137-269, aka the Cubicle of Shame. I opened my trench coat and pulled out the one thing I knew would lead him back to a productive work state: FruitGuys blueberries. I gently laid one perfectly firm blue on the ground in front of him. He twitched and slowly reached down to pick it up. He popped it in his mouth. I put another one down a few feet further out. Soon I had him following me like Hansel and Gretel in a world without witches. I walked him up to the break room and to The FruitGuys box.
“Blueberries,” I said, handing him some more. “They’re chock full of antioxidants, specifically Anthocyanins – that’s Greek for ‘blue flower.’ They help protect your cells from decay. Think of it like rust inhibitor.” He looked up at me, his mouth full of blueberries, his hands reaching for a peach. “Keep it natural,” I said, “and you’re gonna be alright.”
Don’t get too jacked by caffeine or pantsed by junk food. Keep it real and check out what’s growing on in your region by going to fruitguys.com and clicking on In the Mix.
Enjoy and be fruitful! – Chris Mittelstaedt firstname.lastname@example.org