FruitGuy Noir

Share this post

The Case of the Crate on the Web

They were standing around the FruitCrate when all heck broke loose. Jane was trying to convince John that "grapefruit" descended from a dinosaur egg-sized fruit-grape that used to grow under 20-foot-tall ferns. John was no Doe - he had been around the office and considered himself a connoisseur of fruit-flavored foods. He claimed to know every Jolly fruit flavor of roll-up and Rancher imaginable to man. "You're wrong Jane. That fruit," he pointed confidently, "is nothing less than sour apple flavor packaged up in a yellow wrapper. I've read that somewhere - in English and in French."

I hated to break up the party but, like my pops told me long ago, when lies hit you in the face like a fish flying through a window, thrown by a guy on a unicycle speaking Swedish in iambic pentameter, its still gonna smell rotten. Mom's lessons I could never make out.

I slipped between them and tilted my hat back so they could see my eyes. "Co-workers," I announced. "This is a FruitGuys crate. It comes with information." They started to look nervous. "You just have to know where to get it. One, The FruitGuys website lists the fruit in your crate every week. Two, those fruit mixes are different by region - The FruitGuys find local and regional fruit where available." I held up an apple. It seemed so simple. "You need weekly photos and descriptions of fruit? Go to fruitguys.com." They looked puzzled. "Type with one finger, then click the button on the right side of the crate's lapel labeled: 'This week's mix.'" They smiled and I knew I was getting somewhere. I tipped my hat and adjusted my lapels, "any questions you can always call - 1-877-FRUIT-ME. The staff loves to sing."

Enjoy and be fruitful!

- Chris Mittelstaedt

 

Subscribe to the WEEKLY BITE

* indicates required

 

Recent The FruitLife articles:

Beehives, swales, and vermicomposting, oh my!
April 29, 2019
Spring fruit varieties and how to enjoy them
April 16, 2019
A tribute to the “Lemon Lady” of Redwood City
March 11, 2019
The FruitGuys New Year’s poem
January 8, 2019
Sowing the seeds of entrepreneurship
October 31, 2018
Give the delicious gift of farm-fresh fruit and healthy snacks
October 4, 2018
Summer to fall transition brings new fruit into the rotation
October 2, 2018
Bring some fruitful fun to your workplace on Tuesday, October 2
September 27, 2018
Farmer suicide is a public health threat and could hurt our food supply
August 14, 2018
How to keep your favorite fruit fresh through the summer heat
July 19, 2018

More recent articles:

Best onboarding practices
May 21, 2019
Quick, easy steps to spruce up your office space
May 14, 2019
Grilled portobello recipe
May 9, 2019
How to prepare physically and mentally for race day
May 9, 2019
Three simple ways to enjoy watermelon radishes
May 2, 2019
Easy spring salad recipe
April 25, 2019
Reduce plastic use with these earth-friendly alternatives
April 22, 2019
Food:
History of the tomato
April 18, 2019
How to make sure you’re getting enough iron in your diet
April 11, 2019
How fostering psychological safety increases performance
April 8, 2019

About Us

Our online magazine offers a taste of workplace culture, trends, and healthy living. It features recipes for easy, delicious work meals and tips on quick office workouts. It's also an opportunity to learn about our GoodWorks program, which helps those in need in our communities and supports small, sustainable farms.