Day 26: The marsh of cubicles has cursed our party. We lost Lenny two days ago to the gurgling fried dough found in the quicksand pits of a budget-planning meeting. Sue has been eating the native Bundt cake that grows wildly here and drinking soda like it was stagnant stump water. Her sugar crash-induced lethargy is so bad that we had to build a makeshift sled out of paper towels, binder clips, and copy paper. We dragged her through an area that Ponce said was called “accounting.” The locals didn’t attack but spoke a language of debits and credits that nearly drove us mad.
Day 27: Ponce rescued Sue from the copy machine. We think she is only temporarily blinded. New rule: don’t copy your face without protective eye gear.
Day 28: Ponce set off on his own this morning. We’ve been camping in cubicle 27-605b. I sent up a signal flare that ignited the ceiling tiles. We’re tired, wet, and dying for nutrition.
Day 29: Ponce returned this morning with a Minneola Tangelo – a cross between a Duncan Grapefruit and a Dancy Tangerine. He said that he found it in The FruitGuys crate in the west coast and central region mixes. I can’t believe that he traveled thousands of miles in just a few hours. His hair wasn’t even mussed. He said that eating this great fruit would transport us to new places too. I’m hoping to find a pear that will take me to Omaha to see my cousin Darryl.
Day 30: Ponce finally led us to the worksite wellness clearing where he found the fruit. It was filled with light and warmth. In the center of this oasis known only as Kitchenette 12 was a fountain of office fruit in a FruitGuys crate. We gorged on fresh tree fruit. We were revitalized and snuck into the server room and looked up www.fruitguys.com to find what was in each regional mix. We clicked on the ladybug icon in the right-center of the home page and were transported by region just like Ponce said. I didn’t get a chance to see Darryl but I forwarded my mix to him from the mix page with the new FruitGuys mix forwarding button. Sue gorged on citrus the whole time. She said her eyesight is starting to come back. I haven’t told her yet that the conquistador hat she thought she was wearing is really a toaster.
Enjoy and be fruitful!”¨firstname.lastname@example.org