Mr. Potato Head’s PSA

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[EXTERIOR - DAY - HOME OF MR. POTATO HEAD]

Mr. Potato Head: “Hello kids—I’m here today with a public service  announcement to let you know that you should be eating more potatoes.”

[RAPID ZOOM-IN ON MR. POTATO HEAD]

Mr. P: “No, No! Not me! No, kids—[pushes camera back]—you should be eating other potatoes. Specifically, fingerling potatoes. Fingerlings are those little, well, finger-looking potatoes. They come in many different shapes and colors, even purple. All these different fingerling potatoes are adding some very important diversity and vitality to our world’s potato varieties.”

[CUT TO POTATO FIELDS - UNDERLAY SOUNDS OF CHILDREN LAUGHING]

Mr. P: “Sure, us Burbank and russet potatoes feed the nation [national anthem crescendos]. Hell, we put the ”˜eye’ in Idaho [winks at the camera], but these little fingerlings are gonna help us with our food security.” [Mr. P steps into classroom, pulls down map of Europe, and picks up pointer.] “Do you kids remember the Irish Potato Famine of 1845?” [Mr. P points dramatically at map of British Isles.] “The problem was, they only had one kind of potato back then, the ”˜lumper.’ And it caught the blight Phytophthora infestans.” [Mr. P shudders.] “So what did we learn?” [Rolls up map with a bang.] “We need to diversify!”

[CUT TO INTERIOR - DAY - KITCHEN STUDIO SET]

Mr. P: “And the good news is, your job is going to be tasty and nutritious! Compared to us big guys, fingerlings are ”˜low starch,’ which makes them ideal for sautés, soups, or salads. They’re sometimes called ”˜waxy’ because of their glossy skin, and many varieties are bumpy and hard to peel. There’s even a variety in Peru that’s sooooo bumpy it’s called the ”˜mother-in law potato’ and is given as a peeling challenge to newly wed brides. But you needn’t be challenged—fingerings are tender, so you can leave the skin on and enjoy the nutrients and high fiber.” [Mr. P walks to a TakeHome case on the studio table.]

Mr. P: ”This week your Central TakeHome case includes a special Fingerling mix of Yellow Finns and Red Crescents. The Finns have a Finnish origin and are an excellent all-around potato, yellow and sweet. Red Crescents are rosy with yellow flesh and are great puréed or broiled. To prepare your potatoes just wash, scrubbing with soft brush. They may be peeled. To store: keep in paper bag in a dark, cool place

Just remember kids, use your head. Eat your fingers."

[FADE TO BLACK]

-  Heidi Lewis

 

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