Kale the Turn-Around King

Share this post

By Heidi Lewis

Acme Building. Offices of Bullhorn, Blastem, and Howe—Press Agents. The Rookie sashays down the gleaming marble hallway up to the desk of the executive secretary.

“Mornin’ toots. Is the boss in?” says the Rookie, touching her fedora.

“You call me ”˜toots’ again, and you’ll see my foots, kid. Yes he’s in, and he’s hotter than a Naga Viper at a paprika convention.”

Kale growing at First Light Farm in Sebastopol, CA

“What’s got him in such a mood, Ms. Hennypenny?”

“Kale. Everyone loves kale, and now all the accounts want the same results.”

“Oh that’s a rough one. Buzz me in.”

The thick walnut doors open onto a huge office—Mr. Bullhorn stands, knuckles on desk, looking like a mad gorilla with a big unlit cigar in his mouth.

“Kale!” he bellows out of the side of his mouth.

“No, it’s Dale, Mr. Bullhorn.”

“No, it’s kale, you whippersnapper! Kale’s in my craw. Everyone loves, loves, loves kale,” he says mockingly. “But when I was a kid, kale made people screw up their faces like Lucille Ball tasting Vitameatavegamin—blecch! Now it’s everyone’s favorite veggie. Why is that, Gale?”

“It’s Dale. Because kale is great, sir.”

“But how did kale turn around from “ewww” to “ahhhh”? We need to know the secret for our important PR clients, Snail.”

“It’s Dale, sir. And there’s no secret. Kale just makes you feel good. Especially real, fresh, organic kale, like the kind in your TakeHome case, sir. It's super-popular now. People even make Ignite Presentations for it.”

“But, but, but...” Mr. Bullhorn blubbers, tears rimming his red eyes.

Kale farmer Nathan Boone

“No buts, Mr. B., sir. Kale comes in different shapes and colors—crinkly and flat, deep green and shades of purple. It’s a cool weather crop that is super succulent in fall and winter. It looks good and cooks up nice. Marinated in lemon as a raw salad or sautéed in olive oil and garlic. Tuscan, the flat kind (aka, Dino or Lacinato), is excellent lightly oiled and baked into kale chips.”

“Oh no, kale chips! We could lose the Junk Food account to a healthier, tastier alternative.”

“Don’t worry so much, sir. Let me get you a green smoothie from the canteen. You look like you could use it.”

“Okay, Dale” he says weakly.

Preparation: Wash right before use. Cut leaf away from spine—keep “kale bones” for stock.

Storage: Wrap loosely in plastic bag in crisper section of fridge. Use within three days.


Subscribe to the WEEKLY BITE

* indicates required


Recent Food articles:

Two Easy Recipes for Canning Stone Fruit
June 25, 2019
The health benefits of honeydew melon
June 20, 2019
The delicate flavors of white peaches and nectarines
June 13, 2019
Onions, garlic, and leeks provide many nutritional benefits
May 30, 2019
History of the tomato
April 18, 2019
How to prepare Ataulfo mango
April 4, 2019
Making the most of citrus season
February 14, 2019
Three hearty soup recipes you can enjoy all month
February 4, 2019
Tempting winter fruits to brighten your weekly mix
January 31, 2019
Easy meal prep recipes you can eat all week
January 7, 2019

More recent articles:

Summer muffin recipe
July 18, 2019
Assumptions can harm both recruiters and job seekers
July 16, 2019
Simple summer salad dressing recipes
July 11, 2019
Summer fruit varieties and when you’ll be seeing them
July 9, 2019
Easy summer pasta recipe
July 4, 2019
How to create a dress code that works all year
July 2, 2019
More employers are getting serious about time off
June 27, 2019
Don’t let plantar fasciitis pain break your stride
June 11, 2019
How to make stone fruit jams and butters
June 6, 2019
Listen and learn something new about work life—wherever you are
June 4, 2019

About Us

Our online magazine offers a taste of workplace culture, trends, and healthy living. It features recipes for easy, delicious work meals and tips on quick office workouts. It's also an opportunity to learn about our GoodWorks program, which helps those in need in our communities and supports small, sustainable farms.