1938 – Bartholomew Cubbins takes off first of 500 hats
1957 – IBM 704 plots Sputnik’s exact orbit over a period of six days
1981 – Kwicky Koala premiers following The SuperFriends Hour,
8 am Saturdays
1996 – The Artist Formerly Known as Prince marries girlfriend
Mayte Garcia. During ceremonial vows, the bride silently points at the amorphous symbol on her necklace.
2004 – 47th Anniversary Gala of the “Sputnik Orbit Watchers’
Historic Analytical Team” lasts for one minute, 37 seconds. Original Sputnik plotted 3,718.3 times using chairman’s calculator watch.
2008 – Fifth Annual Printing of Chris’ World-Famous “ODE TO THE SATSUMA”
That’s right ladies and gentlemen, step right up and get your tickets while they last – it’s that super-special time of year when words become flavors and fruit gets even more poetically beautiful than usual, all thanks to The Chief Banana and his unwavering commitment to the fact that nothing is too silly. From Bartholomew Cubbins, and all of us, a grateful tip of the hat to Chris Mittelstaedt, and his fine verse, inspired by the Satsumas that you will find in your crates this week. Without further ado…
Ode to the Satsuma!
— R. Christian Mittelstaedt, Esq.
The Satsuma makes me zooma.
Happy when I peel it I might just hum a toona or clap my hands and make a booma.
When I get that sweet, crisp shot of tart and tangy Satsuma,
So juicy and sweet and quick to please between my cheek and guma,
I feel I could run just like a puma.
In a daze of citrus joy, I reverse its high degree and refer to it as magna laude cuma.
It won’t make you fuma’, you can never lose your sense of huma,’ now go out and spread the tasty word of the Satsuma ruma.’
Like I said, sweet and tangy it makes you zooma!