Fruit Olympics

Bob: “Jane, we’re here in client services where Engineering is finally getting the chance to redeem themselves against Outbound Marketing. It’s been a tough winter Olympic season for Engineering whose last encounter with marketing in the pairs fruit-figure-impersonating performance was a disappointment. Their two-star fruit impersonators missed on a daring grapefruit-triple-eyebrow-axel that cost them a win and ended for one young engineer in an annoying, but not overly debilitating, eye twitch.”

Jane: “Well, Bob, Engineering gets another shot today in a different event as conditions couldn’t be more perfect for fruit curling. Client services has been preparing for this match now for the last 15 minutes—raiding all the mini kitchens around the office and gathering up ice to line the hallway between the bathrooms for the first curling match. The break only has five more minutes left so this match is going to be a one-push contest.”

Bob: “They’re picking their ”˜rocks’ now at The FruitGuys crate. Steve from marketing, who has been known to curl with apples, says he likes the grip of the stem and that afterward he can munch on something cold, crisp, and energizing. He’s reaching for his tried and true Gala. Though personally, I would have gone for the Pinova, a relatively new variety with lineage from the Cox Pippin and Golden Delicious.”

Jane: “Karla’s at the crate picking a Minneola Tangelo – she’s a California girl originally and likes to curl locally—so this beauty from Porterville’s Cruz Farm with it’s sweet and juicy tangerine/grapefruit cross is a perfect pick. The nib on the top of the fruit is said to give a very specific curling action. Let’s see what happens.”

Bob: “Marketing is pushing off first, and here comes the Gala. The sweepers are rubbing printer cleaning brushes furiously in front of the Gala – oh what great glide this rock has, and it looks like, yes, it’s in the in the house resting nicely in the blue center circle.”

Jane: “Karla’s up next, and she’s – wait a minute. Look at that push off! I can’t believe how much heat she’s putting on this throw. It’s headed right for Marketing’s Gala! It’s looking good. Yes! It’s right on the nib and pushes out the Gala leaving the Tangelo in the blue circle!”

Bob: “Well, that’s the match, and Engineering is celebrating by eating their curling equipment. Wow, does that Minneola look good! Tune in tomorrow for the finals of the fruit-eating slalom. It will be Lindsey, our CFO, vs. Jack in Facilities. Don’t want to miss that one.

Check out the mixes at www.fruitguys.com and read about fruits and veggies and find recipes in our growing Almanac section: “The produce library.”

Enjoy and be fruitful! – Chris Mittelstaedt chiefbanana@fruitguys.com