FruitGuy Noir: A Handy Case

I was soaking my hands in a mixture of Palmolive and probiotic yogurt when I got the call. This was the moment I had been waiting for. Three weeks undercover playing a retired hand model making a comeback was taking its toll. “Hello?” The voice on the other end of the line whispered. “I’m scared.” “Go on,” I said. “The handle,” she continued, “I just don’t know—this is” And the phone went dead. I dried off and raced downstairs. I stuck my finger in the air and hailed a cab. I had learned over the last few weeks that putting my whole hand in the air—one as gorgeous as mine—could cause traffic accidents. I had to be careful.

“Take me to the puppet shows,” I said. The cabbie looked at me with a terrified expression. “Yep—you heard right. The puppet shows.” It was where hand models went to get away. A few back alleys later—with the right amount of felt, googly eyes, Elmer’s glue, and the password “Gonzo”—I was in. Everyone had their arm in the air and was chatting through their felt puppets to each other. I heard Gizelle’s voice and caught a glimpse of her through the crowd. I took out Rolando, my heavily sequined felt alter ego. “Hello there, Gizelle.” Her orange felt puppet with the blue googly eyes, and purple lips turned. She was, indeed, a vision. “You were cut off when we talked earlier,” I said. “I can’t—” she started. “What?” I said. “Do you need help, Gizelle?” I asked as my puppet moved closer and bumped up against one of her three-fingered, glued-on felt hands. “It’s going to be OK,” I said. “We can do this.” She nodded, gulped, and threw back her red yarn hair. She was a pro.

“OK,” she said, gathering her strength. “I want to buy The FruitGuys TakeHome fruit and veggie case—you know, it’s the mix of organic farm-fresh produce delivered to the office for personal use. It comes with recipes and a neat carrying box that can be easily taken home like a produce briefcase.” “And?” I said. “Well, I’m terrified of carrying things,” she said. “I don’t want to hurt my hands.” Her puppet started to shake. “I nudged her with Rolando. “Gizelle, The FruitGuys have specially designed their cases with a handle so it can be easily carried—with one hand. All of their produce is identified online and on the insert in the box by farm and type. It’s a great way to get your nutrients at home, so your hands stay healthy. She smiled. “You mean I don’t have to wear plastic bags all the time anymore to stay safe?” Rolando smiled. “Come on, I’ve got some Palmolive and probiotic yogurt back at the office.”

Enjoy & Be Fruitful! – Chris Mittelstaedt chiefbanana@fruitguys.com