The Annual Fall Fruit Opera

It’s that time of year again: “Newsletter Classics.” The time when I re-run an oldie but a goodie. The actors may have changed slightly but the characters and the plot are always the same. Enjoy!

“As The World Tilts”
Scene: Fade in. A FruitGuys crate sits on an office kitchen counter. Orange-bristly sunlight streams in through the window.
Scarlet Peach: “Rhett Bartlett, my pear.”
Rhett Bartlett: “Yes, my peach?”
Scarlet Peach: “I’m weaker now than before and. . .”
Rhett Bartlett: “Don’t speak my peach! For fall is fast upon us and you will bruise too easily and your sugar will grow weaker and weaker.”
Scarlet Peach: “I have only a short time left. Rhett, when I’m gone … will you find another?”
Rhett Bartlett: “Um . . . well . . . it has already happened.”
(Dramatic organ music swells up.”)
Scarlet Peach: “Rhett. How could you!?”
Rhett Bartlett: “You are more mature than I and I need someone in my same season. Gala is her name and she’s an apple.”
Scarlet Peach: “She’s, dare I say it, crunchy.”
Announcer: “Tune in to (just click on “In The Mix for your region) as the late peaches begin to fade away and Bartlett Pears, Asian Pears, Bosc and Comice pears, plus Gravenstein, Gala, Ginger Gold, and a list of other apple varieties and fall fruits become the new, fresh, and influential characters in next season’s As The World Tilts.”

Enjoy and be fruitful! – Chris Mittelstaedt

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