Finding Home and Work-Life Balance: How to Let Go of the Guilt

This past weekend, my wife and I sat down to review my upcoming work travel. I winced as I told her that I might need to extend my next trip for another night because of an extra meeting. She looked at me thoughtfully and said, “Let go of the guilt, and do what you need to do.” I think I teared up with relief.

Why Do I Feel So Guilty?

Work travel can be tough for anyone with responsibilities at home—as you might know all too well. I love talking with clients, spending time with my team, and learning at conferences. It’s invigorating to be in the field. But as a mom of two boys, it also comes with guilt about my home and work-life balance. I’m missing quality time with the family and leaving my wife to handle all of the soccer practices, lunches, dinners, bedtimes, and baths (and her own full-time job) without help.

Let’s Rethink Home and Work-Life Balance

Talking to my wife helped me reframe what work-life balance as a business leader looks like. It doesn’t mean that work and life are perfectly in balance with each other and always get equal time. It means that one will take precedence over the other, but that can change as you need it to, maybe even daily. Sometimes work takes priority, but it doesn’t always have to be that way. You can find a balance.

For our family, my wife asks two things:

1. That I’m transparent about what my work needs are and realistic about when I’m available
   and when I’m not.
2. That I’m truly present during family time.

To do that second thing, I have to stop mentally prepping for meetings during family Uno games and close my email for the tenth viewing of the Transformers One movie. When I’m not working, I need to be home and let work go.

How to Apply This to Your Career

This month at The FruitGuys, we’ve been talking a lot about “the heart of the office”: the people who, like you, hold teams and workplaces together. If you’re in that challenging and demanding role, I think it’s important to remember that you don’t have to go it alone or feel guilty about asking for help. You can look for opportunities to find balance within your work and share that “heart” load.

Just like I asked my wife for help improving my home and work-life balance, you can find people to help you balance your scales so that you don’t burn out trying to support everyone around you. Maybe that means creating a mentorship program that matches new hires with veteran team members, or hiring a consultant to help you with your wellness budget. Or maybe it means simply letting go of perfection and focusing on all of the great things you’re already doing for your team.

Whatever equilibrium looks like for you, I hope you find it. I truly believe that when we show up for work as our best and most balanced selves, our teams can be their best selves too.

For more tips for a healthy worklife, check out the WorkLife section of our blog. It’s full of helpful ideas.

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